The Ugly Green Gate
Where my brother and my girlfriend train with their school team is an ugly green gate that is a bastion of sheer stupidity. In the hallowed temple soon to be exalted as an institution, any activity that serves not to further its status as a premier educational facility is a frivolity, unless the particular activity happens to help garner some nonsensical award that is merely a salve for the wounded pride and squandered youth of those without whom the institution would be a non-entity.
What does "sustained achievement" mean to you? An achievement is an achievement is an achievement. But no, winning once is not enough. You have to win thrice. In a row!Oh, but if you can't strike gold, fourth position for three years running is fine too, it beats even the situation of alternating a championship with a non-podium finish.
Anyway, back to the ugly green gate. Everybody has a key to it but those who need it. Reason? The micro fluctuations in air pressure caused by bouncing a rubber ball on concrete is somehow amplified by the sanctity of the late Tan Sri Dr Runme Shaw to become mega-decibel noise inside the hall named after him. Poor unfortunate souls onto the GCE Holy Grail. They have ultra sensitive ears. Anybody considered switching off the fans that whirr above their heads? GCE does not respect the inverse-square laws of energy.
Of course, there're other reasons. Fall down somewhere or impale yourself on some object. As long as it happens on the wrong side of that green gate and you become a quadriplegic, the sinner who provided the key shall suffer a fate worse than yours. I cannot imagine how though. This reason is strangely seasonal. You can only get hurt in the holidays. Out of touch with your books, you shall be stupid enough to trip over your own shadow. Deprived of P.E. lessons, you shall be weak enough to die from a mild contusion.
If these don't make sense to you, there's always the flat "NO", served straight up. No training during the school term, do that in the holidays. No training in the holidays, you have to catch up on your work. No training after 7 and before 3 and please be reminded that lessons end at 5.20pm and by the way, we do want the silverware although it's not important.
A balanced education is like a balanced diet. Seen the food pyramid?
My mama tells me before the green gate, there used to be this hoop jamming contraption. It's a metal bar with some clasp that can be secured with a padlock. No prizes for guessing where all eight of them were deployed. I'm in awe of the sheer brilliance of those people who discovered the convenience of one key over eight.
I'm cross because I have to stay in my brother's bag while my girlfriend grovels at the feet of some stranger for the key to the green gate. Don't you know I need to get enough sun to smell heavenly, as opposed to just nice. I'm upset because by the time my brother and girlfriend get to play some ball, it rains. Don't you know I hate being damp? I'm angry because every time my brother and girlfriend train, it's in some unfamiliar place where I have to keep quiet because it's foreign territory. Don't you know I'm very talkative and have a million things to say?
Come on, it's just a key.
What does "sustained achievement" mean to you? An achievement is an achievement is an achievement. But no, winning once is not enough. You have to win thrice. In a row!Oh, but if you can't strike gold, fourth position for three years running is fine too, it beats even the situation of alternating a championship with a non-podium finish.
Anyway, back to the ugly green gate. Everybody has a key to it but those who need it. Reason? The micro fluctuations in air pressure caused by bouncing a rubber ball on concrete is somehow amplified by the sanctity of the late Tan Sri Dr Runme Shaw to become mega-decibel noise inside the hall named after him. Poor unfortunate souls onto the GCE Holy Grail. They have ultra sensitive ears. Anybody considered switching off the fans that whirr above their heads? GCE does not respect the inverse-square laws of energy.
Of course, there're other reasons. Fall down somewhere or impale yourself on some object. As long as it happens on the wrong side of that green gate and you become a quadriplegic, the sinner who provided the key shall suffer a fate worse than yours. I cannot imagine how though. This reason is strangely seasonal. You can only get hurt in the holidays. Out of touch with your books, you shall be stupid enough to trip over your own shadow. Deprived of P.E. lessons, you shall be weak enough to die from a mild contusion.
If these don't make sense to you, there's always the flat "NO", served straight up. No training during the school term, do that in the holidays. No training in the holidays, you have to catch up on your work. No training after 7 and before 3 and please be reminded that lessons end at 5.20pm and by the way, we do want the silverware although it's not important.
A balanced education is like a balanced diet. Seen the food pyramid?
My mama tells me before the green gate, there used to be this hoop jamming contraption. It's a metal bar with some clasp that can be secured with a padlock. No prizes for guessing where all eight of them were deployed. I'm in awe of the sheer brilliance of those people who discovered the convenience of one key over eight.
I'm cross because I have to stay in my brother's bag while my girlfriend grovels at the feet of some stranger for the key to the green gate. Don't you know I need to get enough sun to smell heavenly, as opposed to just nice. I'm upset because by the time my brother and girlfriend get to play some ball, it rains. Don't you know I hate being damp? I'm angry because every time my brother and girlfriend train, it's in some unfamiliar place where I have to keep quiet because it's foreign territory. Don't you know I'm very talkative and have a million things to say?
Come on, it's just a key.
posted by :O at 5:01 AM
<< Home