The Polyester Wonder is 8 Years Old
I mentioned before my mama is eyeing this new $1999 washing machine. Come to think of it, I'd really like to have that nice appliance.
Because I'm a filial :O.
To wash me in a front-loading machine, my mama has to kneel uncomfortably on the floor, which most likely will be wet. My mama will want to watch me spin through the plexiglass for the full wash cycle. This will kill Mama's knees, which I suspect suffer from rheumatoid arthritis.
What about a top-loading type? My mama will break her back while putting me in. To watch me spin, the lid will have to be up and mama will further injure her spine in order to peer down. The splashing Dynamo foam will cause Mama to asphxiate.
Just because I'm a little jealous of Xiaopor's cleanliness doesn't mean Mama has to risk her life to wash me.
The obvious solution is this.
The world's first 30-degree tilted drum washing machine - all I want for my birthday.
Apart from these others:
The white chocolate birthday cake in the shape of an 8 my brother promised to bake me. The birthday party at MacDonald's my Mama has been talking about since I was 3. The fish buttons and finishing stitches on my wennuanpai. The makeover at Hannah Bruce.
And many many more, including:
Lots of angpow money Lots of new clothes Lots of new fans Lots of Xs and Os
Because I'm a filial :O.
To wash me in a front-loading machine, my mama has to kneel uncomfortably on the floor, which most likely will be wet. My mama will want to watch me spin through the plexiglass for the full wash cycle. This will kill Mama's knees, which I suspect suffer from rheumatoid arthritis.
What about a top-loading type? My mama will break her back while putting me in. To watch me spin, the lid will have to be up and mama will further injure her spine in order to peer down. The splashing Dynamo foam will cause Mama to asphxiate.
Just because I'm a little jealous of Xiaopor's cleanliness doesn't mean Mama has to risk her life to wash me.
The obvious solution is this.
The world's first 30-degree tilted drum washing machine - all I want for my birthday.
Apart from these others:
And many many more, including:
I still remember my first birthday, when my mama baked me an A6 sized cake. We blew out the candle in the car, Mama ate a small chunk and the fridge ate up the rest. I wonder if Mama will be around when I celebrate my 100th birthday in 2097. What about 2997? I'm going to live forever you know.
Which is why, for my birthday, one of the things I really want is world peace. Who's going to bake me a cake when everyone has killed everyone else?
On this special occasion, I'd like to say:
To the people who matter, thank you for all the wonderful things you do for me, like inhaling dust mites. To those who don't, I love you anyway.
All of :O is a heart.
Ngiak.
posted by :O at 2:11 AM
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