Inanimate, greedy and narcissistic drug???

A big thank you to the dear who wrote me a birthday poem. Sorry no links to the private blog.

I'm not inanimate ok? I got more life than anybody you possibly know, including yourself. Oh, and yes, I'm still as greedy and narcissistic as ever. Of course, that's not my fault at all.

The Best Primary School in Singapore?

You got to read this about the primary school my mama, my brother and my girlfriend attended.

I'm glad nobody ever brought me there.

Esuvees

If you think I'm ugly, check this out. Gross.

By the way, I hate SUVs. They're SU - super ugly. It's surprising there's no anti-SUV campaign in Singapore. Esuvees totally negate the purpose of high mounted rear brake lights, a mandatory feature for local cars.

You don't have to be big to be powerful ok. I'm proof enough.

The Polyester Wonder is 8 Years Old

I mentioned before my mama is eyeing this new $1999 washing machine. Come to think of it, I'd really like to have that nice appliance.

Because I'm a filial :O.



To wash me in a front-loading machine, my mama has to kneel uncomfortably on the floor, which most likely will be wet. My mama will want to watch me spin through the plexiglass for the full wash cycle. This will kill Mama's knees, which I suspect suffer from rheumatoid arthritis.



What about a top-loading type? My mama will break her back while putting me in. To watch me spin, the lid will have to be up and mama will further injure her spine in order to peer down. The splashing Dynamo foam will cause Mama to asphxiate.

Just because I'm a little jealous of Xiaopor's cleanliness doesn't mean Mama has to risk her life to wash me.

The obvious solution is this.



The world's first 30-degree tilted drum washing machine - all I want for my birthday.

Apart from these others:

The white chocolate birthday cake in the shape of an 8 my brother promised to bake me.

The birthday party at MacDonald's my Mama has been talking about since I was 3.

The fish buttons and finishing stitches on my wennuanpai.

The makeover at Hannah Bruce.

And many many more, including:

Lots of angpow money

Lots of new clothes

Lots of new fans

Lots of Xs and Os

I still remember my first birthday, when my mama baked me an A6 sized cake. We blew out the candle in the car, Mama ate a small chunk and the fridge ate up the rest. I wonder if Mama will be around when I celebrate my 100th birthday in 2097. What about 2997? I'm going to live forever you know.

Which is why, for my birthday, one of the things I really want is world peace. Who's going to bake me a cake when everyone has killed everyone else?

On this special occasion, I'd like to say:

To the people who matter, thank you for all the wonderful things you do for me, like inhaling dust mites. To those who don't, I love you anyway.

All of :O is a heart.

Ngiak.

More on the Siglap - Sin Kee Fiasco

This evening, all those involved had a meeting with BAS. Again. Because Sin Kee wrote in to appeal against the decision.

Poor Sin Kee. There's a good chance they would have won the game even if they had accepted the decision on the day itself. Now, they're almost certain to be in the relegation playoffs. There're many versions of what happened that day, which is a fact the reporter failed to highlight. The reporter also failed to do some basic research on the latest basketball rules. There's little you can't do with Google really.

The local refs are pissed off. Regardless of whether the table officals were negligent, you don't cancel a foul and rewind the clock. The situation does not satisfy one of the four conditions for the error to be correctable. Mr JG should have known better, as should have Mr Technical Commissioner. This has nothing to do with the facts that the former did not see the incident (actual sequence of events: request of timeout, administration of free throws) occur and the latter was sleeping (yes, literally).

Refs from all over the world (I kid you not) have phoned in to ask (and laugh merrily) at the joke. Mr JG's colleagues are baying for his blood and secretly hoping Mr Commissioner will be replaced at the next BAS election.

Accidents happen. Errors aren't corrected with errors. Negative begetting negative only happens in Mathematics.

Speaking of referees, there is talk that from next year onwards, only those who pass the physical fitness test will get to officiate. It's unbelievably simple but lots of refs are going to get weeded out. 86 laps for males, 66 for females in the beep test, i.e. level 10 - 2 shuttles and level 8 - 4 shuttles, respectively. If you're a man and you can't run 2 km in 10 minutes, you don't call yourself an athlete. And it's clearly stated in the FIBA referees' manual - You are also an athlete.

Guess who the perennial laughing stocks are?

For the kentangs out there, here's a summary of the events, in chronological order, according to Zaobao.

NBL Div 1 game: Siglap vs Sin Kee
● Last minute of game, Siglap player commits shooting foul on Sin Kee player.
● Siglap requests time-out.
● Sin Kee player enters 2nd free throw (Sin Kee now leads 55-54, time remaining is 12.6 s).
● Table officials are negligent and fail to sound the buzzer to signal the time-out.
● Siglap inbounds the ball, the clock runs and a Sin Kee player is fouled with 3.5 s remaining and Siglap already in the team foul penalty situation, i.e. Sin Kee now has 2 free throws.
● Chaos ensues.
● Siglap protests that the time-out wasn't given. Sin Kee counter protests.
● The game is stalled for close to half an hour.
● The referee of the game, Mr Johny Goh, after discussing with the technical commissioner, Mr Loh Chee Chuan, makes the decision to cancel the foul by the Siglap player, bring the clock back to 12.6 s, and continue the game with the baseline inbound by Siglap.
● Siglap accepts the decision. Sin Kee refuses to continue and signs a formal protest on the scoresheet.
● Mr Goh tells the reporter that in this situation, he has the power to bring time back to 12.6 s according to international basketball rules.
● The officials for the game, BAS staff and reps from both teams meet.
● The official statement: Miscommunication between the referee and table officials. Table officials say the time-out was requested after the 1st free throw had been administerd, the referee thought it was before.
● The verdict: A rematch. Siglap accepts the decision. Sin Kee wants to consider and has yet to respond.

Sports journalism in Singapore is dead.

To be continued...

The perennial laughing stocks have done it again!

If you're into the local basketball scene and don't already know about the fiasco last Sunday, here's the scoop:

甲组篮球赛记录台摆乌龙 该暂停未暂停 信记抗议 比赛陷僵局
● 郭嘉惠, 联合早报，3月21日
　　全国甲组篮球赛昨晚发生一起风波，由于记录台的疏忽，导致信记和实讫纳之间的对抗无法分出胜负，得由杯赛委员会开会决定后，才能确定这场球赛的结果。
　　球赛终场前12.6秒，信记球员陈招荣两罚两中，但在这之前实讫纳教练黄惠宝已向记录台示意暂停。由于记录台的疏忽，实讫纳没获得暂停，计时表的时间照走，球赛一直进行至剩下3.5秒，而信记再次获得两个罚球机会。
　　此时，实讫纳阵营已传出阵阵抗议声，教练黄惠宝也走向记录台表示他之前提出暂停的要求，而记录台没有任何表示。
　　这时，比赛陷入僵局，双方球员开始议论起来。实讫纳队长罗文亮、信记队长曾维龙与主裁判吴瑞钦进行协商，但一直没得出结论。比赛暂停了近25分钟。
　　主裁判吴瑞钦过后与篮总技术主任罗志传商讨，作出决定，将计时表的时间拨回至12.6秒，实讫纳获得暂停和开球权，信记丢失两个罚球机会。
　　实讫纳接受主裁判的判决，要继续比赛，但信记不接受这项判决，仍在场外僵持着。主裁判吴瑞钦给信记1分钟时间决定是否继续作战，信记最终决定不打。
　　主裁判吴瑞钦赛后受访时说，根据国际篮总条例，比赛若出现这种情况，裁判可决定是否将计时表调回至原有时间，但这得看情况而定。以当时情况，他的决定是把计时表拨回至12.6秒。
信记决提书面抗议
　　篮总技术主任罗志传说，这场比赛没有胜负，成绩保留在信记以55比54领先，直到杯赛委员会开会决定后才确定最后结果。信记必须在24小时内就这起风波提出书面抗议。信记教练张进丰说：“我们将在24小时内提出正式书面抗议，抗议内容是要求比赛剩下3.5秒，信记仍拥有两次罚球机会。”
　　实讫纳教练黄惠宝对这样的判决无异议，并重申自己确实走到记录台前向工作人员示意暂停，但实讫纳却没获得暂停，结果引发这起风波，让比赛陷入僵局。

甲组赛风波 今晚会议定结果
● 郭嘉惠, 联合早报，3月22日
　　篮总杯赛委员会将在今天傍晚6时于会所召开会议，调查前晚甲组赛风波的事发经过，并确定这场比赛的结果。
　　杯赛委员会秘书陈宝福昨天受访时说：“信记昨天下午4时左右将书面抗议传真到篮总办公室，总裁黄月兴过后将这份抗议交给我。杯赛委员会主席陈佩勤将在今天傍晚6时召开会议，对前晚的风波进行调查，然后确定这场球赛的结果。”
　　陈宝福说，除了他之外，技术主任罗志传、竞赛主任曾国柱、裁判主任潘先併、杯赛委员会委员余学忠、信记和实讫纳两队负责人和该场球赛两名裁判也将参与这项会议。
　　前晚甲组赛发生风波，皆因记录台的疏忽。比赛完场前12.6秒，信记球员陈招荣两罚两中，实讫纳教练黄惠宝在这之前已向记录台示意暂停。由于记录台的疏忽，实讫纳没获得暂停，计时表时间照走，比赛一直进行至剩下3.5秒，信记再次获得两个罚球。
　　此时，实讫纳教练走向记录台表示他之前提出暂停要求，记录台没有任何表示。之后，实讫纳队长罗文亮、信记队长曾维龙与球赛主裁判吴瑞钦协商，一直没得出结论。比赛已暂停近25分钟。
　　在与技术主任罗志传商讨后，吴瑞钦决定将计时表时间调回至12.6秒，实讫纳获暂停和开球权，信记失掉两次罚球机会。
　　实讫纳接受裁判判决，重返赛场继续比赛，信记则不接受这，在场外僵持。主裁判吴瑞钦随后给予信记1分钟考虑是否继续作战，信记最终决定不打，并在昨天向杯赛委员会提交书面抗议。

篮球甲组赛风波 信记实讫纳将重赛
● 郭嘉惠, 联合早报，3月24日
　　两支甲组球队信记和实讫纳将在4月10日晚上7时于新加坡篮球中心进行重赛。
　　篮总总裁黄月兴昨天受访时说，杯赛委员会前天召开会议，调查上星期天信记对实讫纳甲组赛发生的风波。在听取相关人员的解释后，杯赛委员会决定让信记和实讫纳在下月10日进行重赛，并在昨天下午通知两队委员会的决定，要两队在今天下午5时前作出回应。
　　他说，经过调查和听取有关人员的解释后，杯赛委员会确定裁判与记录台工作人员在沟通上出现问题，所以才会作出将时间拨回至12.6秒的决定。
　　实讫纳领队蒋志坚说，他们接受篮总杯赛委员会的决定，将在下月10日与信记进行重赛。之前所发生的一切都已成为过去，已是不能改变的事实，所以为了本地篮运的发展，他们决定重赛。
　　信记教练张进丰说：“我们尚未决定是否接受重赛。我们将在今晚和明天上午进行讨论，然后在下午5时前答复篮总杯赛委员会。我们不排除接受重赛的可能性。”
　　这起风波皆因记录台的疏忽，让实讫纳没获得暂停，而主裁判吴瑞钦过后决定将计时表的时间从3.5秒调回到12.6秒，信记因此失掉两个罚球机会，而后决定不继续比赛，并向杯赛委员会提出书面抗议。
　　根据记录台工作人员的解释，实讫纳在信记球员陈招荣投中首个罚球后才提出暂停，而主裁判吴瑞钦的理解是实讫纳在陈招荣投出首个罚球前提出暂停，所以才决定将计时表的时间调回至12.6秒。

This is my broodmate

Polar had a bath last week. Not many people remember his name is actually Polar, as given by Mama. Not very imaginative huh? The reason he is only known as Xiaopor nowadays is obvious. And you know what, sometimes I'm really jealous of him because he gets to bathe so often and alot of people think he's oh-so-cute while I'm just plain ugly. But I really love the little bugger. Because he's a small polyester wonder, and very handsome too.


This is Polar basking in the sun after the bath. Charming smile eh?

Get your AMD today!

A three-judge panel at the 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in Atlanta received the case hours after U.S. District Judge James Whittemore in Tampa, Florida, refused the request of parents Bob and Mary Schindler to reinsert the tube.

What a mess. Enough already.

The moral of the story is everyone should get an AMD. Best thing of all, it's free. The AMD itself, at least. However, one of the witnesses has to be a doctor, so if you're cheapo, go to a polyclinic.

Quote of the Day

"The grass may sometimes seem greener on the other side, but quite often it’s rotting from the roots."

Let Her Die

Know who Tierri Schiavo is?

She died before I was even born, and she's still alive now. Technically speaking, of course.

It's mind boggling how humans show the wantonest cruelty to those they love most. However, if you think of love as a selfish act, it all becomes painfully logical. Who would love if it didn't make them feel good? It's obvious whose end love serves primarily.

But I still love my mama. Of course I do. The greatest love of all is self-love.

Don't Believe the Hype

If you ask me, the only four words that matter here are the ones in red. Trust me, I know better than you. I'm not the polyester wonder for nothing.

甲组女篮 夺冠艰难

联合早报，3月17日

● 李雪霖(圣安德烈初院) - 体育通讯员

　　熟悉校际篮球赛的人都会异口同声地认为，今年最有看头的比赛非女篮甲组赛莫属。
　　华中初院去年在女甲篮球决赛，以58比33大胜圣安德烈初院。率领华初夺标的是当选最佳女球员的方淑雯，她今年为了兼顾学业转至裕廊初院。
　　对华初来说，这就像是失掉一个支柱。所幸，她们还有两名国家少年队员郭思婷和洪梅柏玲助阵。
　　新加坡队去年在东南亚女篮赛夺冠时，裕廊初院的方淑雯是国家女篮队最年轻的球员。她代表新加坡参加去年10月的亚洲18岁以下女篮赛，并当选最佳三分球员。我国女篮队也在这项比赛以全胜纪录夺得第二级冠军。
　　不过，方淑雯并没有绝对的信心打败前队友。她坦言，裕初目前的实力没有这么强大。
　　上届女甲亚军圣初从去年惨败的经验中吸取教训，在这一年更加埋头苦练。圣初女队队长李佳敏去年与郭思婷和洪梅柏玲一起前往泰国参赛，李佳敏当时还获选为该队队长。
　　李佳敏表示，圣初无论在体力或是精神上都有了一定的磨炼，比起其他队伍更有胜算。
　　维多利亚初院是另一匹黑马。维初今年除了有高二生队长林雪婷压阵外，主力选手大都是高一生，包括去年校际乙组赛最佳球员胡雪妮和三名新加坡女子中学球员。这五名球员去年都入选学联队，胡雪妮还是国家少年队员。
　　除了上述四支球队外，上届季军安初和近年成绩不佳的莱初也是不容忽视的队伍。安初去年在次圈赛以1分之差输给圣初，今年的表现如何值得期待。
莱初今年更换教练，由去年女乙冠军新加坡女子中学教练周宝玲指导。大家都在密切留意看周教练能否在这么短的时间内训练出一支强队。
　　按实力来预测进入今年决赛的队伍，华初、维初和圣初应是最有可能入围的球队。

Is Blogging a Marketing Tool?

You decide.

Here.

Infacticide

Ah, a rare typo. And a new word coined.

Infacticide

n.

The annihilition of reality by a complete misrepresentation of facts.

Incidentally, if you google "infacticide", you will find that it's a very very common typo.

2W, 2L

is how Siglap has done so far in the NBL. Siglap was nearly relegated to Division II last year, so I don't think it has alot of supporters who're interested in how it's faring.

But that's not the point here. I watched only two games. Guess which two?

Polyester does wonders. I feel important.

It was generally a happy outing, except for this one little girl, who nearly punched my mama's fist with her face. Upon being told that I'm my mama's son, she insisted that it couldn't be so because I can't talk. Talk about discrimination and blatant misinterpretation of facts. She even called me a teddy bear while demanding an answer from my mama, all the time blocking our view of the game.

While my mama cursed under her breath, the Siglap boss uttered the very same words aloud. I wished he would direct the colourful language at his own irritating daughter instead of every call the referees made that didn't go in Siglap's way. And this was when Siglap already had a healthy 20 point lead.

Am I glad my mama has me. Any other offspring would have suffered infacticide infanticide.

Since this is supposed to be a happy post, here's a photo of me armchio-ing at Uncle Yix and his antics.

包装虽无贬义，也绝无褒义

笔者是我老母的中学、高中同学。文中“C”便是我老母。这里做一项更正：老母并不是嫌麻烦，只是维生素M不足罢了。养我确实不容易...

沈帼英－生活电影

早报副刊 - 3月9日

● 沈帼英
　　每回上网进入MSN聊天室，有如翻开当天报纸的电影广告。线上的朋友都会把自己的心情、环境、生活感触，总结成一句标语作为当天的代号，像是《等待一封信》、《维也纳之梦》。你说像不像电影名字或是相关的宣传文字？　
　　一上线，总会看看今天上演什么片，哪些戏名、宣传标语吸引人，才决定要到哪家戏院看戏。热气逼人时，可以和主演《刚下了一场五分钟的雪》的X，聊聊北国的天气，幻想组屋窗外也开始飘起雪。深夜的感性时刻，就听《寂寞的季节》女主角，倾诉她的感情故事，自己扮演小燕姐姐的角色。哈，原来“人生就是戏”，是MSN的广告歌。
　　只是短短一行字，就可以大致窥探朋友们此时的生活状态，不管他身在什么国度，过着哪个季节。A朋友人在美国，却打出德国小镇的名字，看来还念念不忘欧洲的生活。B朋友刚辞去工作，心情复杂，既享受自由却也倍感压力。相信风水命理的C，嫌在现实生活中改名字太麻烦，于是在虚拟世界里给自己取了一个有很多“木”的名字，缓和本名中“水”分泛滥的命运。
　　什么个性的导演，拍出什么类型的电影。有的朋友专拍80年代双林双秦式的文艺爱情片，含蓄浪漫还要带点哀愁，最常用大自然的白云细雨小鸟大树，暗示心情。有的很好莱坞，剧名要越简短有力越好，比如《关键时刻》、《毁灭爱情》。有的是暴露狂，喜欢拍限制级电影，用文字赤裸裸地呈现自己，让你一踏入戏院就能马上进入正题，省去前戏。拍喜剧的人好像很少，大家都不拿自己的生活开玩笑。
　　生活在消费资讯膨胀的时代，我们每天被无数的宣传文字轰炸，也早习惯用宣传文字来表达自己，甚至是包装自己的生活。包装没有贬义，有时只有在经过包装后，你才会发现自己的生活，其实没有想像中的无色无味。

Adequate My Foot

Three students collapse during school run -- one in ICU

Straits Times, 3 March 2005

Three students from Hwa Chong Institution collapsed while taking part in a school cross-country run and had to be taken to hospital.

One of them, a 14-year-old in Secondary 2, fainted 45 minutes after the run started last Friday and was warded in the National University Hospital's intensive care unit (ICU) for heat stroke.

The institute's principal and chief executive officer, Mr Ang Wee Hiong, told The Straits Times that the boy was sent to the ICU because he had lost consciousness.

The other two, a 17-year-old girl and an 18-year-old boy, both in their A-level year, were warded for heat exhaustion. They were discharged two days later, on Sunday.

They were among 4,500 secondary school and junior college students who took part in the annual event, which this year required the students to run 3.6km at Turf City, the old Bukit Timah race course, last Friday afternoon. The run was held there as the place could accommodate the large number of youngsters participating.

This is the first time all the students from the institute's six levels, comprising the former The Chinese High School and Hwa Chong Junior College, took part in the run.

Said a JC 2 student, who didn't want to be named: "When we did the run at MacRitchie Reservoir last year, it was much cooler."

"Turf City is mostly concrete, and running there under the hot sun was overwhelming."

The highest temperature that afternoon was 34 degrees Celsius.

Mr Ang said the school took "adequate precautions" before and during the event. "We had two ambulances on standby and water stations along the route. All the students were also told before the run that they should stop if they feel tired."

Eyewitnesses said the boy who fainted was a good runner, and was on the last leg of the race when he started to stumble. Mr Ang said the boy had two brain scans to make sure that the fall had not resulted in any blood clots in his brain.

The boy's mother said he is in stable condition.

Alright, somebody tell me how many water stations there were exactly. The guys did not run 3.6km, they did 1km more. Precautions? What about being "operationally ready", to borrow SAFspeak. Last Friday, these three weren't the only ones who collapsed. There were those who fainted and had to wait more than 30 minutes for an ambulance to arrive. And guess what the very helpful SJAB guys did in the meantime? Stare.

How did these guys ever pass their First Aid? Didn't someone brief them to be ready for heat exhaustion cases? Why weren't they armed with icepacks and umbrellas? What did they expect they would be required to do? The Heimlich Manoeuvre? Make arm slings? Apparently, nobody read the news about bushfires all over Singapore and the below-average rainfall in February. It's probably a mere correlation that the more time you spend in air-conditioned comfort, the less common sense you have.

I could go on and on about what was wrong with the event. But I shall end on a positive note since nobody died -- things definitely could have been much worse if a certain sister school had been part of the logistics nightmare. Phew.

What a Joke

Excerpt:

BAS did well in the 2004 NSA review.

Sian ah...

I want to complain. The polyester wonder is bored. Ever since my brother gave up lugging me to school, I only ever get to go to the gym or to some basketball court somewhere. If my mama is in a good mood, I get to eat hotcakes. That's about all. Not good.

Sister Rabbit has pneumonia and is coughing madly. She's obviously in no shape to take care of me. I can't do anything to help, neither can my army of dust mites. Sian. There's really no English equivalent that conveys sianness adequately.

My brother told me my girlfriend can run. She ran so fast she won a medal at some cross country meet. I ought to be happy for her, but I'm not. Because I didn't get the medal. Why oh why did she not give the medal to me? Seriously, can you expect me to share her joy like this? No way man.

Last weekend actually wasn't so bad because my mama brought me to Khatib Camp. Not that the camp was a fun location per se, just that it was somewhere I hadn't been before. Home of the gunners. Whoa. My mama complained about paying tax money to fund the military organised ECAs. Guess who benefits from these events which serve to beef up the officers' portfolios? Enhance Career Action. Some sports carnival indeed. My brother observed there were only two sports. Basketball and football. How very observant. Ok, four sports, if you must. Basketball, adult football, children's football and swimming. The swimming pool was open to public that day, with a grand total of ten lifeguards stationed, more than enough to save all the people drowning at any one time. In fact, two lifeguards could go save one drowner swimmer.

My mama's enthusiasm for the event stemmed from a deep desire to recoup her losses to IRAS, an organisation which has made her very unhappy the past few months, and is going to make her even unhappier come April. Incidentally, the same ultra efficient organisation can't cope with the heavy traffic from all the kids trying to get their Singpass to participate in the JAE. My poor brother was roped in to help in the event so that my mama could sit there and shake leg. Unfortunately, this did not happen. Those big bad bullies from the SAF (most of whom really can't play basketball) kept intimidating my brother, who I think was pretty freaked out but tried not to show it. Hey guys, if you can't take incidental contact under the basket, don't play 3-on-3. What wimps.

Auntie Dino and Uncle Dinoman didn't want to carry me so I had to sit alone at the scorer's table most of the time while my mama and brother worked 31 games in a row without a break. Not easy money at all. Naturally, my mama was super excited about the free Kelme bibs and Avia balls Uncle Dinoman said she could take home. Not 100% satisfying, because the items came from the event sponsors and not Mindef.

We all wanted to see a Commando-RSAF final but it wasn't to be. Together with Armour, these were the only three teams which really could play. The flashy armourers were knocked out in a penalty shootout, and the very disciplined commandoes, despite great help defence, just couldn't contain this Shaq-like (in terms of size, not skill) guy in the paint. Uncle Dinoman was a little sad that RSAF won in the end. 16 teams, 14 from the Army, and they all let the Airforce win?

RSAF won because they fielded the Siglap captain, a Chong Ghee starter and a shooting machine little guy who just coudn't miss. That same evening, I got to see both Siglap and Chong Ghee play in the Division I NBL. Uncle Yix plays for Siglap too. The last time I went with Auntie Hweech to support him and get some free dinner from the Siglap boss was when I was about 4 years old.


Uncle Yix in action

You know, I don't exactly enjoy watching ball games. What a dumb sport. Maybe I'll tell you about it some day.